104: Hard Places
Everyone wants a happy life. Most of us start out with an inner expectation that things will go well, that our plans will play out smoothly. But somewhere along the way — through loss, betrayal, sickness, disappointment, or unanswered prayers — many people lower that expectation. Some even swing the other way and conclude, “Nothing good ever happens to me. I just expect things to go bad.”
That’s not how God wants us to live.
The Bible does not promise us a life free from hardship — but it does promise us a way through hardship. And the key to walking through hard seasons without losing your faith or your joy is not pretending everything is fine. It’s learning how to suffer biblically.
We don’t heal by fake positivity, and we don’t heal by drowning in despair. The way forward is holy honesty — which the Bible calls lament.
Faith Doesn’t Mean Fake Positivity
We both have different wiring when it comes to hardship.
One of us leans naturally toward fierce positivity — raised to believe “you’re going to be fine,” “shake it off,” “don’t stay down.” That optimism is a gift. But sometimes, it makes it hard to acknowledge when something really is painful.
The other of us tends to feel hardship deeply — not just physically or emotionally, but down to the core. That brings empathy and depth. But if not careful, it can turn into wallowing — rehearsing the pain instead of releasing it.
Maybe you lean one way too:
You deny pain with relentless positivity, thinking that being “negative” is unspiritual.
Or you drown in pain, convinced that struggling means you're weak or abandoned.
But Scripture doesn’t affirm either extreme.
The same Bible that says “The joy of the Lord is your strength” also contains an entire book called Lamentations. The Psalms are filled with phrases like “How long, O Lord?” and “Why have You forsaken me?” — yet those very same chapters often end with “But I will trust in You.”
Faith is not denial of pain. Faith is dependence on God in pain.
What Is Biblical Lament and Why Do We Need It?
Lament is not complaining. Complaining accuses God. Lament invites God in.
Lament has structure. It sounds like this:
Honest Expression — “God, here’s where I am. I’m hurting. I’m struggling. This isn’t right.”
Bold Petition — “God, change this. Heal. Restore. Rescue. I know You can.”
Relational Reaffirmation — “Even if You don’t answer the way I want — I still trust You.”
We see this in Jesus Himself, praying in Gethsemane: “Father, if there’s any way, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not My will, but Yours be done.”
Lament is not weakness — it is worship.
Ground Rules for Walking Through Hard Seasons
Over the years, we’ve written down what we call our Ground Rules for Lament, and they have anchored us in some of our darkest moments:
We live in a broken world. Pain is not always punishment. Sometimes it’s just reality.
Our existence is a gift. We are owed nothing — yet God has given us everything in Christ.
We are not the center of the universe. There is a bigger story than ours.
God is more troubled by this brokenness than we are. He sees every tear.
We are not equipped to handle all of God’s answers. He knows what we don’t.
We must resist the urge to judge God. His silence does not equal His absence.
When these truths are set in place, we can grieve without falling apart — and hope without faking it.
The Ministry of Presence: How to Help Someone in Their Valley
Sometimes the hardest place isn’t being the one suffering — it’s standing beside someone who is.
We’ve had countless moments as pastors and friends where someone was in deep pain and we didn’t know what to say. You don’t always need the right words. What people often need most is simply presence.
Sit with them.
Put the phone away.
Make eye contact.
Don’t rush the silence.
Don’t give forced answers.
Sometimes loving someone well means walking into their pain instead of standing at a distance and “praying from afar.”
But also—love them the way they receive love, not the way you prefer to give it. Some people want a room full of support. Others want quiet and space. Ask the Lord for discernment.
God Welcomes Your “How Long?”
One of our favorite passages in Scripture is found in Revelation 6:9–11, where even martyrs in Heaven — already in the presence of God — cry out:
“How long, O Lord, until You bring justice?”
And do you know what God does?
He doesn’t rebuke them.
He doesn’t shame them for asking questions.
He clothes them in white and tells them “Rest a little longer.”
Even in Heaven, God receives honest lament with tenderness.
If He welcomed it from them — He’ll welcome it from you.
Hard Seasons Don’t Mean God Has Left You
If you’re in a hard place right now — in your health, in your marriage, in your church relationships, in your finances, in your family — hear us clearly:
Struggle is not proof that God has abandoned you.
He is not just beside you — He is within you.
The same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead is now living in you. That means your lament doesn’t end in hopelessness — it ends in resurrection.
Final Encouragement: Grieve Fully, Trust Fiercely
If you’re walking through a valley right now:
Write down your honest prayer. Don’t censor it.
Ask God boldly to change things.
Then declare aloud: “Yet I trust You.”
Do it today. Do it tomorrow. Do it every day until your spirit catches up.
One day, from the other side of eternity, you will look back on these hard places — and you will say with full conviction:
“Jesus, You were worth it. I would do it all again to be with You.”
Until that day — don’t fake your way through pain.
Grieve fully. Trust fiercely.
Because the joy of the Lord is still your strength.
